God's love and goodness never ceases to amaze me, and this morning He once again showed me what a kind and loving God he is (and what a brat I am). Seriously. How do I just keep getting brattier??
Anyway. This morning I had a 7:30am flight to catch. Being an avid -no, neurotic- runner, I needed to be up to get in a good run before a day of travel. I guess my guardian angel preferred that I sleep in a bit, because I did not wake until about 30 minutes before I needed to leave for the airport.
I am stubborn, so I fit in a 20 minute run and super quick shower before I left. I ended up leaving like 10 minutes late and there was a bit of traffic, but I made it to the airport in plenty of time! At least, I thought I did.
When I went to check my bag, the informed me that I had missed the bag check time by five minutes. Apparently, in order to check a bag one must arrive at the airport with 45 minutes to spare. I guess it's been a really long time since I've checked a bag...
I already have high anxiety, but this news took me by surprise and totally broke my spirit. I am meeting people in Virginia at 6:30! We have a rental car! I have a connection to make! How on earth could this be happening!?
So this man (rather rudely, if I may add) directed me to the line to change my flight. There I encountered other less than friendly individuals. At this point, I couldn't hold back the tears. This has never happened before (the whole missed flight thing), and I just felt so sad and confused. I know they recommend being at the airport 90 mins early. I know I cut it close. Really close. But 5 minutes late?
So I waited for 50 minutes in a line to get on stand by. By now I was all puffy eyed and gross, and trying my hardest to hold in my tears. In the words of Judy Funnie, "Oh, brave new world that has such people in it!" Things seemed so unjust. I was so alone.
Embarrassingly enough, I had hardly prayed until I got past security. I asked God to "come on!!!" and "please get me to VA today, please please?!" but I hadn't really submitted to his will. I called my mom, trying to compose myself and let her know about the change in plans.
And so... my mother is my super hero. She prayed with me. "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" Matthew 6:26-30 That's what she prayed. And it was exactly what God wanted me to hear.
I hung up the phone and truly felt the holy spirit moving. I felt calm. And then they called my name, and asked me if I wanted a window or an aisle seat. I literally praised the Lord out loud, and walking to my seat and realized that yes -the man sitting across from me was indeed CHRIS HARRISON from the bachelor/ette. I thought, "why not!?" and took a picture with him. This was, of course, after he caught me trying to sneak a covert picture of him without him knowing. Soooo Chris Harrison thinks I'm a creeper and I'll probably never be on the bachelor/ette.
God wanted me on that flight, maybe because he wanted me to meet Chris Harrison.
So now I sit listening to Belle and Sebastian, and feeling so loved. I feel God's grace truly working. And I do not know if I will make my next flight. If I don't, maybe it's because Ron Paul is hiding somewhere in the DFW airport and God wants me to take a picture with him too :)
UPDATE
I made it to DFW with ten minutes to make my original connecting flight. I ran and prayed. Prayed and Ran. Made it to the gate with 2 minutes to spare...and the attendants were nowhere to be found. I am glad my prayer was, "Your will be done, God!!" because obviously Jesus wanted me to chill in the airport for a while, with some bud light and internet access. His will is better than mine....
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Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Monday, March 22, 2010
GAH!
It's been a while since my last post.
I didn't really have anything to blog about, or so I thought. Then i figured I should throw something up here -and the first thing that came to mind was the frustration of the last two weeks.
The only way I could possibly describe it was just, GAH!! Everything seemed to be falling apart around me. I had escaped to that pitiful place in my mind where I am the victim of such injustices -did anyone ever watch that Nickelodeon show "Doug?" He had a sister named Judy, and in one episode I remember her reciting poetry or something and the line she repeated was, "Oh cruel, cruel world, with such people in it!!!" That has been me. For the past twelve days. Pretty obnoxious.
Life is full of little (and BIG) frustrations. Road blocks and challenges. I don't know if or when anything really changed between that perspective and a new one. It all seemed to come tumbling down around me of late.
Once I centered myself -which took days, it seems- things all came together. I was done with the pity party, feelings of worthlessness and unimportance, and frustrations.
Those mentalities are just lies. Straight from the mouth of the king of lies. Our Lord is so much bigger than our adversary. And we can't ever forget it.
But there is a line from a Mike Doughty song. "Let me know your enormity and my tininess. Help me see your infinity and my finiteness." God is infinite. He is bigger than anything. And he sees me through these challenges. And He sends me angels -my guardian angel, the amazing women in my life that are truly angels to me...He gives us the body of Christ.
It doesn't make it easy. Actually, sometimes things do genuinely suck. And they are hard. And we get lost in it. But we are totally equipped to get through, and when we keep the faith, and we hold onto hope, we make it. Against all odds, we survive.
No matter what challenges may come, no matter how out of control the world around us is...we are given all the tools we need to persevere. Just look to the cross.
I didn't really have anything to blog about, or so I thought. Then i figured I should throw something up here -and the first thing that came to mind was the frustration of the last two weeks.
The only way I could possibly describe it was just, GAH!! Everything seemed to be falling apart around me. I had escaped to that pitiful place in my mind where I am the victim of such injustices -did anyone ever watch that Nickelodeon show "Doug?" He had a sister named Judy, and in one episode I remember her reciting poetry or something and the line she repeated was, "Oh cruel, cruel world, with such people in it!!!" That has been me. For the past twelve days. Pretty obnoxious.
Life is full of little (and BIG) frustrations. Road blocks and challenges. I don't know if or when anything really changed between that perspective and a new one. It all seemed to come tumbling down around me of late.
Once I centered myself -which took days, it seems- things all came together. I was done with the pity party, feelings of worthlessness and unimportance, and frustrations.
Those mentalities are just lies. Straight from the mouth of the king of lies. Our Lord is so much bigger than our adversary. And we can't ever forget it.
But there is a line from a Mike Doughty song. "Let me know your enormity and my tininess. Help me see your infinity and my finiteness." God is infinite. He is bigger than anything. And he sees me through these challenges. And He sends me angels -my guardian angel, the amazing women in my life that are truly angels to me...He gives us the body of Christ.
It doesn't make it easy. Actually, sometimes things do genuinely suck. And they are hard. And we get lost in it. But we are totally equipped to get through, and when we keep the faith, and we hold onto hope, we make it. Against all odds, we survive.
No matter what challenges may come, no matter how out of control the world around us is...we are given all the tools we need to persevere. Just look to the cross.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Are you there God? It's me...
God speaks.
A lot of us, myself included, wish God would just come down on a big white cloud and say the things we want Him to say. To give us a yes or a no, to enlighten us on His plan for us, to explain what's going on in our lives and why the stuff is hitting the fan, or whether or not we're on the right path.
We all have those moments, right? The times when we look up to the heavens and yell, "Hellooooo? Is anybody up there? Is anybody listening?"
And usually no one responds. There's no booming voice from the sky like the prophets received. God doesn't always "give us a sign." There ARE times when He does, but sometimes you just have to wonder. How is God speaking to me? Or...is He?
As a youth minister I often feel like I am supposed to have the answers. There are times that I feel like out of all the people in this world, all us really "devout" or spiritual Catholics are supposed to recognize the most how God speaks and what he wants for us. We are supposed to "discern" His will. We're supposed to get it right, and somehow just know. But too often, I fail. I have no idea what God wants. I have a sort of spiritual verdigo -like I'm drowning and can't figure out the way up. All too often I just want clarity.
This weekend I had an amazing opportunity to really "discern" God's will for me. I was on retreat down in Orange county, and hoping that God would give me a big "yes!" or a booming "no, no, no, get the heck outta here!" to some of the directions I am trying to take my life in.
I wasn't doubting, I wasn't worried that I was making the wrong decision. But I did want a little assurance. A sign, if you will, that this was the right thing. And in His quite whisper, in the subtle move of His spirit, in His gentle presence residing in my own heart, I received my resounding ...ask again later...from Him. It takes more than a weekend away to get there.
Listening to God and discerning His will is about more than retreats. It's an ongoing process -something that requires patience and openness. God works on His own time. And He never forces Himself on us.
If our hearts are open to what God has in store for us, we will know how to follow Him. God's grace will never lead us astray, and even when we fail to follow the path as closely as God would like, He continually opens new paths for us to continue moving closer to Him.
The key to hearing God is prayer. Prayer is talking to God, and it isn't a one way street. I was once told that we as His people talk to God, and if He talks back that makes us crazy. But we are told to pray without ceasing, and it can be exhausting and frustrating to feel like our prayers aren't going anywhere. Being open to God's will means opening that line of communication -that prayer street- and letting the road blocks that stop God's response fall away.
God doesn't always speak the way we want Him to, but as Christians we have faith that God never abandons Us. He speaks -just not always in the most traditional of ways. Sometimes we do get HUGE signs from above, but that isn't what we can count on. Our faith allows us to rest in God's presence, and trust that He will reveal His will to us in the way that we are mean to know it.
A lot of us, myself included, wish God would just come down on a big white cloud and say the things we want Him to say. To give us a yes or a no, to enlighten us on His plan for us, to explain what's going on in our lives and why the stuff is hitting the fan, or whether or not we're on the right path.
We all have those moments, right? The times when we look up to the heavens and yell, "Hellooooo? Is anybody up there? Is anybody listening?"
And usually no one responds. There's no booming voice from the sky like the prophets received. God doesn't always "give us a sign." There ARE times when He does, but sometimes you just have to wonder. How is God speaking to me? Or...is He?
As a youth minister I often feel like I am supposed to have the answers. There are times that I feel like out of all the people in this world, all us really "devout" or spiritual Catholics are supposed to recognize the most how God speaks and what he wants for us. We are supposed to "discern" His will. We're supposed to get it right, and somehow just know. But too often, I fail. I have no idea what God wants. I have a sort of spiritual verdigo -like I'm drowning and can't figure out the way up. All too often I just want clarity.
This weekend I had an amazing opportunity to really "discern" God's will for me. I was on retreat down in Orange county, and hoping that God would give me a big "yes!" or a booming "no, no, no, get the heck outta here!" to some of the directions I am trying to take my life in.
I wasn't doubting, I wasn't worried that I was making the wrong decision. But I did want a little assurance. A sign, if you will, that this was the right thing. And in His quite whisper, in the subtle move of His spirit, in His gentle presence residing in my own heart, I received my resounding ...ask again later...from Him. It takes more than a weekend away to get there.
Listening to God and discerning His will is about more than retreats. It's an ongoing process -something that requires patience and openness. God works on His own time. And He never forces Himself on us.
If our hearts are open to what God has in store for us, we will know how to follow Him. God's grace will never lead us astray, and even when we fail to follow the path as closely as God would like, He continually opens new paths for us to continue moving closer to Him.
The key to hearing God is prayer. Prayer is talking to God, and it isn't a one way street. I was once told that we as His people talk to God, and if He talks back that makes us crazy. But we are told to pray without ceasing, and it can be exhausting and frustrating to feel like our prayers aren't going anywhere. Being open to God's will means opening that line of communication -that prayer street- and letting the road blocks that stop God's response fall away.
God doesn't always speak the way we want Him to, but as Christians we have faith that God never abandons Us. He speaks -just not always in the most traditional of ways. Sometimes we do get HUGE signs from above, but that isn't what we can count on. Our faith allows us to rest in God's presence, and trust that He will reveal His will to us in the way that we are mean to know it.
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