Are you there God? It's me...

God speaks.

A lot of us, myself included, wish God would just come down on a big white cloud and say the things we want Him to say. To give us a yes or a no, to enlighten us on His plan for us, to explain what's going on in our lives and why the stuff is hitting the fan, or whether or not we're on the right path.

We all have those moments, right? The times when we look up to the heavens and yell, "Hellooooo? Is anybody up there? Is anybody listening?"

And usually no one responds. There's no booming voice from the sky like the prophets received. God doesn't always "give us a sign." There ARE times when He does, but sometimes you just have to wonder. How is God speaking to me? Or...is He?

As a youth minister I often feel like I am supposed to have the answers. There are times that I feel like out of all the people in this world, all us really "devout" or spiritual Catholics are supposed to recognize the most how God speaks and what he wants for us. We are supposed to "discern" His will. We're supposed to get it right, and somehow just know. But too often, I fail. I have no idea what God wants. I have a sort of spiritual verdigo -like I'm drowning and can't figure out the way up. All too often I just want clarity.

This weekend I had an amazing opportunity to really "discern" God's will for me. I was on retreat down in Orange county, and hoping that God would give me a big "yes!" or a booming "no, no, no, get the heck outta here!" to some of the directions I am trying to take my life in.

I wasn't doubting, I wasn't worried that I was making the wrong decision. But I did want a little assurance. A sign, if you will, that this was the right thing. And in His quite whisper, in the subtle move of His spirit, in His gentle presence residing in my own heart, I received my resounding ...ask again later...from Him. It takes more than a weekend away to get there.

Listening to God and discerning His will is about more than retreats. It's an ongoing process -something that requires patience and openness. God works on His own time. And He never forces Himself on us.

If our hearts are open to what God has in store for us, we will know how to follow Him. God's grace will never lead us astray, and even when we fail to follow the path as closely as God would like, He continually opens new paths for us to continue moving closer to Him.

The key to hearing God is prayer. Prayer is talking to God, and it isn't a one way street. I was once told that we as His people talk to God, and if He talks back that makes us crazy. But we are told to pray without ceasing, and it can be exhausting and frustrating to feel like our prayers aren't going anywhere. Being open to God's will means opening that line of communication -that prayer street- and letting the road blocks that stop God's response fall away.

God doesn't always speak the way we want Him to, but as Christians we have faith that God never abandons Us. He speaks -just not always in the most traditional of ways. Sometimes we do get HUGE signs from above, but that isn't what we can count on. Our faith allows us to rest in God's presence, and trust that He will reveal His will to us in the way that we are mean to know it.