Hello blogosphere. It's been a while. Since the last update, life has been...well...a roller coaster. I've gone from brunette to blonde and back, Los Angeles to Orange County to New York City, from behavior specialist to graduate student to youth minister to Marriage and Family Therapist, and so on.
Today I was thinking a bit about that journey -a journey we are all on as Christians. The spiritual life is a series of ups and downs. There are great victories and huge set backs. We experience immense joy and deep despair. Prayers are answered in miraculous ways, and sometimes they seem to fall upon deaf ears.
In the last few years, one of my greatest sources of knowledge hasn't come from school, or the pulpit, or even those deep conversations with some of my closest confidants. I've learned more than I ever could have imagined from my sweet little niece, Sophia.
Sophia came into my life in October of 2010, and while it's a long story that's best saved for later, I honestly believe that I wouldn't have made it to this point without her. Watching her grow has been the greatest blessing, and she constantly amazes me with her joy, empathy, and innocent reflections.
My niece is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
A few weeks ago I went home to California for a major milestone -my 5 month old nephew, Sophia's brother Brandon, was going to Disneyland for the first time. For a Southern Californian family, this is basically a sacrament, and we are probably no exception.
While Sophia has practically been raised at Disneyland, this trip was a special milestone for her too- she is finally tall enough to go on some of the "big kid" rides. She was so excited for splash mountain, and taking her on the rides that she has never experienced before was a thrill for us adults as well.
We hopped over to the California Adventure Park (because only California needs to build a theme park to celebrate how great it is) to visit Cars land. Sophia was finally tall enough for the Radiator Springs Racers -and while I don't know if it technically qualifies as a roller coaster, we are going to refer to it as one so I can explain what Sophia taught me about riding a roller coaster.
See, one of the perks about being that aunt that lives in NYC is that my niece really wants to spend time with me when I visit. She wants to sit in my lap, hold my hand, and of course, ride the roller coaster with Aunt Kimmie.
She took a seat between myself and my little sister Allison, and we were off to the races. The beginning of the ride is super cute, and she was loving her trip through Radiator Springs. We saw all the characters from the movie "Cars," made a pit stop with some character who jostled around our vehicle, and lined up with a car next to us -it was time for the "race." Sophia grabbed our hands as the car took off at what must have felt like lightening speed to a four and a half year old, and I could feel her hands tighten into a death grip.
The ride from that point on was a mix of fast straight aways and dips that give send that funny fluttery feeling into your stomach. Throughout the ride, Sophia seemed to go back and fourth between that kind of carefree joy that allows your to throw your hands up, and the fear that causes you tense up at a sudden drop.
Sitting next to her, holding her hand, I could feel her flip flopped back and fourth between joy and fear. She would giggle with her hands in the air, and then quickly pull her hands back down to her sides when the ride increased in intensity. Allison and I would slowly raise our hands back up, and Sophia would relax and follow suit -then back down to her sides when the dip was too scary. She was all smiles as the ride came to an end, as was our entire group.
At the time, I was ecstatic just to spend that day laughing with my niece, listening to her observations, and carrying her when her legs got tired. Upon reflection, however, I think I saw from God's point of view -just for a second, what may be a tiny glimpse of what it could be like for God to ride this roller coaster that is our broken life on earth- with us.
Like I said -the last 3 years have been crazy. Bright new relationships and gutting break ups, birth and death, anxiety and peace, and for the most part, as I live it I get stuck in my own head. Caught up in my own experience. I'm the protagonist in my story, and I don't get the perspective that the author does.
God's experience of my roller coaster is so different from my own. Just like my experience on the roller coaster was so different than my niece's. She experienced uncertainty, laughter, fear, joy...and in watching her reactions and feeling her tiny little hand grip mine, I could see and appreciate what she was going through.
Sitting next to her, I experienced nothing but love and gratitude for each moment as it rapidly came and went. I had no doubt, no fear, no uncertainty. I knew where the dips and turns were, and I knew we were going to get through them safety. I knew that if for some reason, any portion of that ride was scary or confusing for my sweet little niece, she was going to get through it just fine.
This past weekend, a long drive across the New York gave me a lot of time to think about God's experience of my journey. I'm the one with the fears and shames and confusion, but maybe God is sitting next to me, gently encouraging me to just throw my hands up and enjoy the ride.
I remember being Sophia's age, and experiencing the joys and fears of Disneyland. There is photographic evidence of the terror I felt being in close proximity to a giant Gummy Bear. It took until I was 11 years old to get on Space Mountain without crying (and it was only because I didn't want to cry in front of my friend Katelyn). My niece is clearly a lot braver than I am.
So I guess this is just another example of my niece teaching my a lesson. To brave the big girl ride that is the world with the confidence that I am safe in the presence of loving God, who doesn't just make all things work for good, but is actually glad to be on this journey with me.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
A Boy, a Girl, and a Rendezvous...
God's love and goodness never ceases to amaze me, and this morning He once again showed me what a kind and loving God he is (and what a brat I am). Seriously. How do I just keep getting brattier??
Anyway. This morning I had a 7:30am flight to catch. Being an avid -no, neurotic- runner, I needed to be up to get in a good run before a day of travel. I guess my guardian angel preferred that I sleep in a bit, because I did not wake until about 30 minutes before I needed to leave for the airport.
I am stubborn, so I fit in a 20 minute run and super quick shower before I left. I ended up leaving like 10 minutes late and there was a bit of traffic, but I made it to the airport in plenty of time! At least, I thought I did.
When I went to check my bag, the informed me that I had missed the bag check time by five minutes. Apparently, in order to check a bag one must arrive at the airport with 45 minutes to spare. I guess it's been a really long time since I've checked a bag...
I already have high anxiety, but this news took me by surprise and totally broke my spirit. I am meeting people in Virginia at 6:30! We have a rental car! I have a connection to make! How on earth could this be happening!?
So this man (rather rudely, if I may add) directed me to the line to change my flight. There I encountered other less than friendly individuals. At this point, I couldn't hold back the tears. This has never happened before (the whole missed flight thing), and I just felt so sad and confused. I know they recommend being at the airport 90 mins early. I know I cut it close. Really close. But 5 minutes late?
So I waited for 50 minutes in a line to get on stand by. By now I was all puffy eyed and gross, and trying my hardest to hold in my tears. In the words of Judy Funnie, "Oh, brave new world that has such people in it!" Things seemed so unjust. I was so alone.
Embarrassingly enough, I had hardly prayed until I got past security. I asked God to "come on!!!" and "please get me to VA today, please please?!" but I hadn't really submitted to his will. I called my mom, trying to compose myself and let her know about the change in plans.
And so... my mother is my super hero. She prayed with me. "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" Matthew 6:26-30 That's what she prayed. And it was exactly what God wanted me to hear.
I hung up the phone and truly felt the holy spirit moving. I felt calm. And then they called my name, and asked me if I wanted a window or an aisle seat. I literally praised the Lord out loud, and walking to my seat and realized that yes -the man sitting across from me was indeed CHRIS HARRISON from the bachelor/ette. I thought, "why not!?" and took a picture with him. This was, of course, after he caught me trying to sneak a covert picture of him without him knowing. Soooo Chris Harrison thinks I'm a creeper and I'll probably never be on the bachelor/ette.
God wanted me on that flight, maybe because he wanted me to meet Chris Harrison.
So now I sit listening to Belle and Sebastian, and feeling so loved. I feel God's grace truly working. And I do not know if I will make my next flight. If I don't, maybe it's because Ron Paul is hiding somewhere in the DFW airport and God wants me to take a picture with him too :)
UPDATE
I made it to DFW with ten minutes to make my original connecting flight. I ran and prayed. Prayed and Ran. Made it to the gate with 2 minutes to spare...and the attendants were nowhere to be found. I am glad my prayer was, "Your will be done, God!!" because obviously Jesus wanted me to chill in the airport for a while, with some bud light and internet access. His will is better than mine....
.
Anyway. This morning I had a 7:30am flight to catch. Being an avid -no, neurotic- runner, I needed to be up to get in a good run before a day of travel. I guess my guardian angel preferred that I sleep in a bit, because I did not wake until about 30 minutes before I needed to leave for the airport.
I am stubborn, so I fit in a 20 minute run and super quick shower before I left. I ended up leaving like 10 minutes late and there was a bit of traffic, but I made it to the airport in plenty of time! At least, I thought I did.
When I went to check my bag, the informed me that I had missed the bag check time by five minutes. Apparently, in order to check a bag one must arrive at the airport with 45 minutes to spare. I guess it's been a really long time since I've checked a bag...
I already have high anxiety, but this news took me by surprise and totally broke my spirit. I am meeting people in Virginia at 6:30! We have a rental car! I have a connection to make! How on earth could this be happening!?
So this man (rather rudely, if I may add) directed me to the line to change my flight. There I encountered other less than friendly individuals. At this point, I couldn't hold back the tears. This has never happened before (the whole missed flight thing), and I just felt so sad and confused. I know they recommend being at the airport 90 mins early. I know I cut it close. Really close. But 5 minutes late?
So I waited for 50 minutes in a line to get on stand by. By now I was all puffy eyed and gross, and trying my hardest to hold in my tears. In the words of Judy Funnie, "Oh, brave new world that has such people in it!" Things seemed so unjust. I was so alone.
Embarrassingly enough, I had hardly prayed until I got past security. I asked God to "come on!!!" and "please get me to VA today, please please?!" but I hadn't really submitted to his will. I called my mom, trying to compose myself and let her know about the change in plans.
And so... my mother is my super hero. She prayed with me. "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" Matthew 6:26-30 That's what she prayed. And it was exactly what God wanted me to hear.
I hung up the phone and truly felt the holy spirit moving. I felt calm. And then they called my name, and asked me if I wanted a window or an aisle seat. I literally praised the Lord out loud, and walking to my seat and realized that yes -the man sitting across from me was indeed CHRIS HARRISON from the bachelor/ette. I thought, "why not!?" and took a picture with him. This was, of course, after he caught me trying to sneak a covert picture of him without him knowing. Soooo Chris Harrison thinks I'm a creeper and I'll probably never be on the bachelor/ette.
God wanted me on that flight, maybe because he wanted me to meet Chris Harrison.
So now I sit listening to Belle and Sebastian, and feeling so loved. I feel God's grace truly working. And I do not know if I will make my next flight. If I don't, maybe it's because Ron Paul is hiding somewhere in the DFW airport and God wants me to take a picture with him too :)
UPDATE
I made it to DFW with ten minutes to make my original connecting flight. I ran and prayed. Prayed and Ran. Made it to the gate with 2 minutes to spare...and the attendants were nowhere to be found. I am glad my prayer was, "Your will be done, God!!" because obviously Jesus wanted me to chill in the airport for a while, with some bud light and internet access. His will is better than mine....
.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The Princess and the Frog
I saw this movie at work a couple weeks ago. I know, my job is chill. But moving on.
I remember that as I was watching it, I thought to myself, "Self," (because that is how I refer myself in my head) "you should blog about this." I don't think I ever did. I read through some previous posts and didn't see anything about it, but I totally thought I'd gotten off my lazy bum (or just relocated it to the computer chair) and blogged what I saw in this movie. I guess not.
I hadn't heard much about it before I saw it. Nothing good or bad. It was one of those days right before spring break when classes were winding down and the teacher threw in a feel good movie to pass the time. The princess was pretty, the music was whimsical and catchy, and the story was cute. In a lot of ways it was a typical disney movie.
But there were a few scenes that apparently parents felt were potentially too scary for some kids. They were right -I think they should even be too scary for an adult. Before you ask, this isn't a movie review of the Princess and the Frog. I thought that a good point was made when the "princess" found out that the prince had used voodoo, and she thought he was a fool. It was a good point that she rejected the glamour of evil at the end (uh...spoiler alert?) and smashed the talisman. She wasn't going to give in to the promises of the witch doctor, or make a deal with the devil.
I highly doubt Disney set out to create a movie about the danger of voodoo and spiritual warfare. To them this is all fantasy. It's a made up story that just happens to actually walk the line of some kind of theological idea. They don't outright recognize it, but any Catholic with some most remote understanding of Satan could probably draw their own conclusion here.
There it is in the mainstream entertainment industry, folks: Satan is real. Evil exists. And maybe a lot of voodoo practicers aren't happy with Disney's portrayal of life on the bayou and dealings with witch doctors, but we as Christians need to realize the danger in consulting mediums and objects of superstition. Disney animated an extreme idea, and threw in snazzy colors and jazzy tunes. Getting involved with voodoo, seances, satanism, whatever it is, probably won't (usually?) lead to a musical number with the room filling with neon demons, at least not in a way we can perceive. But actually, Disney wasn't SUPER far off in showing the affects of getting involved with evil -looking to anyone but God for help in this life.
Evil works the same way in our lives. The ways Satan "helps" us (whether you even recognize his influence and involvement or not) is similar to what happens in the movie. The promises are false. They aren't lasting the way God's are. They leave us dependent on evil. Dealing with Satan. We become pawns in his game.
So watch the movie. Think about it. Maybe you'll see what I mean. I had more clearer thoughts, but these allergies are kinda clouding up my head.
One last piece of advice to everyone. Pray the rosary. Mary is the one human that has every existed who wasn't fully divine (referring to Jesus there) who Satan is afraid of. She is the co-redemtrix -she played an irreplaceable role in salvation, her fiat was the answer God needed to execute His plan to save us. With her son, she crushed the head of Satan. A meek humble virgin defeated the Devil, and she will protect you from him.
I remember that as I was watching it, I thought to myself, "Self," (because that is how I refer myself in my head) "you should blog about this." I don't think I ever did. I read through some previous posts and didn't see anything about it, but I totally thought I'd gotten off my lazy bum (or just relocated it to the computer chair) and blogged what I saw in this movie. I guess not.
I hadn't heard much about it before I saw it. Nothing good or bad. It was one of those days right before spring break when classes were winding down and the teacher threw in a feel good movie to pass the time. The princess was pretty, the music was whimsical and catchy, and the story was cute. In a lot of ways it was a typical disney movie.
But there were a few scenes that apparently parents felt were potentially too scary for some kids. They were right -I think they should even be too scary for an adult. Before you ask, this isn't a movie review of the Princess and the Frog. I thought that a good point was made when the "princess" found out that the prince had used voodoo, and she thought he was a fool. It was a good point that she rejected the glamour of evil at the end (uh...spoiler alert?) and smashed the talisman. She wasn't going to give in to the promises of the witch doctor, or make a deal with the devil.
I highly doubt Disney set out to create a movie about the danger of voodoo and spiritual warfare. To them this is all fantasy. It's a made up story that just happens to actually walk the line of some kind of theological idea. They don't outright recognize it, but any Catholic with some most remote understanding of Satan could probably draw their own conclusion here.
There it is in the mainstream entertainment industry, folks: Satan is real. Evil exists. And maybe a lot of voodoo practicers aren't happy with Disney's portrayal of life on the bayou and dealings with witch doctors, but we as Christians need to realize the danger in consulting mediums and objects of superstition. Disney animated an extreme idea, and threw in snazzy colors and jazzy tunes. Getting involved with voodoo, seances, satanism, whatever it is, probably won't (usually?) lead to a musical number with the room filling with neon demons, at least not in a way we can perceive. But actually, Disney wasn't SUPER far off in showing the affects of getting involved with evil -looking to anyone but God for help in this life.
Evil works the same way in our lives. The ways Satan "helps" us (whether you even recognize his influence and involvement or not) is similar to what happens in the movie. The promises are false. They aren't lasting the way God's are. They leave us dependent on evil. Dealing with Satan. We become pawns in his game.
So watch the movie. Think about it. Maybe you'll see what I mean. I had more clearer thoughts, but these allergies are kinda clouding up my head.
One last piece of advice to everyone. Pray the rosary. Mary is the one human that has every existed who wasn't fully divine (referring to Jesus there) who Satan is afraid of. She is the co-redemtrix -she played an irreplaceable role in salvation, her fiat was the answer God needed to execute His plan to save us. With her son, she crushed the head of Satan. A meek humble virgin defeated the Devil, and she will protect you from him.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Highway to the Danger Zone
Kenny Loggins said it best...
Actually, I'm sure he didn't. Sorry, Kenny. It was just the first thing that popped into my head when I thought "danger!" So let's move on.
It's been on my mind so much recently, and I've been meaning to write about it somewhere. Maybe I already have, I don't really remember. But here goes.
I think Satan's greatest weapon in his arsenal is the trick he plays to make us believe that things that are dangerous for our spirituality are completely harmless.
Think about it -in a war, the enemy doesn't necessarily want to be standing in plain sight waiting for their target, they hide and make us think we're alone when we're actually surrounded. They plant mines in the middle of the desert, for unsuspecting soldiers to drive through. They may even hide bombs in the toys of children like the Soviets did in Afghanistan.
I remember speaking to a Confirmation class about spiritual warfare, and mentioning the dangers of the Ouiji board. A girl asked how a Ouiji board could pose any threat to us when Target sells them in the game section -and they are pink!
That's how we're most vulnerable. Leading exorcists will tell you that the greatest misconception in the Catholic Church today is that evil isn't real. That Satan is just a symbol. That the demons of scripture don't exist anymore, and couldn't possibly effect a Cristian in modern times.
In fact, many well meaning Christians look at a belief in demons as an archaic superstition -when in fact, not acknowledging the existence of true evil is not only theologically incorrect, but dangerous. It leaves us truly exposed, defenses down...and isn't that exactly where the adversary wants us?
I guess since my time at Franciscan University, joining my household and pledging to fight the good fight of faith, I have become a lot more aware of how unaware others are. They forget or choose not to believe that demons are fallen angel; they are like the angels that protect us and guide us, only inverted and perverse. They have the same hierarchy and power, they have more knowledge than we do, while our guardian angels intervene in our daily lives in a positive and holy way, we cannot be blissfully ignorant of the fact that demons too can affect us. And if we give them even an inch, they'll become a ruler... (bam! i saw than pun on a marquee once)
We can't just choose to ignore evil influences in our world. More so, we cannot let the lies of the world convince us that spiritual dangers are mere entertainment and games. That's the trap set for us. Satan hates those who love Christ, but he finds an easy target in those who don't know or recognize his power. Palm readers, wizards, Ouiji boards...it may sound strange to some readers when I refer to them as dangerous, but others know too well the threat they pose to our spiritual well being.
This is a topic I'll probably write about a lot. Just to let you know.
Ephesians 6:10-20
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
Actually, I'm sure he didn't. Sorry, Kenny. It was just the first thing that popped into my head when I thought "danger!" So let's move on.
It's been on my mind so much recently, and I've been meaning to write about it somewhere. Maybe I already have, I don't really remember. But here goes.
I think Satan's greatest weapon in his arsenal is the trick he plays to make us believe that things that are dangerous for our spirituality are completely harmless.
Think about it -in a war, the enemy doesn't necessarily want to be standing in plain sight waiting for their target, they hide and make us think we're alone when we're actually surrounded. They plant mines in the middle of the desert, for unsuspecting soldiers to drive through. They may even hide bombs in the toys of children like the Soviets did in Afghanistan.
I remember speaking to a Confirmation class about spiritual warfare, and mentioning the dangers of the Ouiji board. A girl asked how a Ouiji board could pose any threat to us when Target sells them in the game section -and they are pink!
That's how we're most vulnerable. Leading exorcists will tell you that the greatest misconception in the Catholic Church today is that evil isn't real. That Satan is just a symbol. That the demons of scripture don't exist anymore, and couldn't possibly effect a Cristian in modern times.
In fact, many well meaning Christians look at a belief in demons as an archaic superstition -when in fact, not acknowledging the existence of true evil is not only theologically incorrect, but dangerous. It leaves us truly exposed, defenses down...and isn't that exactly where the adversary wants us?
I guess since my time at Franciscan University, joining my household and pledging to fight the good fight of faith, I have become a lot more aware of how unaware others are. They forget or choose not to believe that demons are fallen angel; they are like the angels that protect us and guide us, only inverted and perverse. They have the same hierarchy and power, they have more knowledge than we do, while our guardian angels intervene in our daily lives in a positive and holy way, we cannot be blissfully ignorant of the fact that demons too can affect us. And if we give them even an inch, they'll become a ruler... (bam! i saw than pun on a marquee once)
We can't just choose to ignore evil influences in our world. More so, we cannot let the lies of the world convince us that spiritual dangers are mere entertainment and games. That's the trap set for us. Satan hates those who love Christ, but he finds an easy target in those who don't know or recognize his power. Palm readers, wizards, Ouiji boards...it may sound strange to some readers when I refer to them as dangerous, but others know too well the threat they pose to our spiritual well being.
This is a topic I'll probably write about a lot. Just to let you know.
Ephesians 6:10-20
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
What's That Scripture Saying?
Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..."
Yeah. He does.
I pouted for a while about things not going my way in life. I should have known better.
A friend recently asked me to pray for her, via text message. I responded that I would, and than quickly realized how lame I had been. I then thanked her for the reminder she was to me. She needed prayers because for the first time in a while she was totally putting her trust in God. What had I been doing this whole time??? Well, not totally trusting Him, that's for sure. Thank you April, for that humbling reminder.
I probably couldn't have planned my life any better than it is beginning to tun out. But I guess God knew that, didn't He? It doesn't matter what our plans and disappointments, or how much things change around us. Sometimes our expectations don't seem like they could possibly be met, and in the end they are truly exceeded. It's just so funny to me how God does work. And yet I wonder, why is it that I am always surprised? I should know better by now.
I guess the apostle Paul was right...
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..."
Yeah. He does.
I pouted for a while about things not going my way in life. I should have known better.
A friend recently asked me to pray for her, via text message. I responded that I would, and than quickly realized how lame I had been. I then thanked her for the reminder she was to me. She needed prayers because for the first time in a while she was totally putting her trust in God. What had I been doing this whole time??? Well, not totally trusting Him, that's for sure. Thank you April, for that humbling reminder.
I probably couldn't have planned my life any better than it is beginning to tun out. But I guess God knew that, didn't He? It doesn't matter what our plans and disappointments, or how much things change around us. Sometimes our expectations don't seem like they could possibly be met, and in the end they are truly exceeded. It's just so funny to me how God does work. And yet I wonder, why is it that I am always surprised? I should know better by now.
I guess the apostle Paul was right...
Monday, March 22, 2010
GAH!
It's been a while since my last post.
I didn't really have anything to blog about, or so I thought. Then i figured I should throw something up here -and the first thing that came to mind was the frustration of the last two weeks.
The only way I could possibly describe it was just, GAH!! Everything seemed to be falling apart around me. I had escaped to that pitiful place in my mind where I am the victim of such injustices -did anyone ever watch that Nickelodeon show "Doug?" He had a sister named Judy, and in one episode I remember her reciting poetry or something and the line she repeated was, "Oh cruel, cruel world, with such people in it!!!" That has been me. For the past twelve days. Pretty obnoxious.
Life is full of little (and BIG) frustrations. Road blocks and challenges. I don't know if or when anything really changed between that perspective and a new one. It all seemed to come tumbling down around me of late.
Once I centered myself -which took days, it seems- things all came together. I was done with the pity party, feelings of worthlessness and unimportance, and frustrations.
Those mentalities are just lies. Straight from the mouth of the king of lies. Our Lord is so much bigger than our adversary. And we can't ever forget it.
But there is a line from a Mike Doughty song. "Let me know your enormity and my tininess. Help me see your infinity and my finiteness." God is infinite. He is bigger than anything. And he sees me through these challenges. And He sends me angels -my guardian angel, the amazing women in my life that are truly angels to me...He gives us the body of Christ.
It doesn't make it easy. Actually, sometimes things do genuinely suck. And they are hard. And we get lost in it. But we are totally equipped to get through, and when we keep the faith, and we hold onto hope, we make it. Against all odds, we survive.
No matter what challenges may come, no matter how out of control the world around us is...we are given all the tools we need to persevere. Just look to the cross.
I didn't really have anything to blog about, or so I thought. Then i figured I should throw something up here -and the first thing that came to mind was the frustration of the last two weeks.
The only way I could possibly describe it was just, GAH!! Everything seemed to be falling apart around me. I had escaped to that pitiful place in my mind where I am the victim of such injustices -did anyone ever watch that Nickelodeon show "Doug?" He had a sister named Judy, and in one episode I remember her reciting poetry or something and the line she repeated was, "Oh cruel, cruel world, with such people in it!!!" That has been me. For the past twelve days. Pretty obnoxious.
Life is full of little (and BIG) frustrations. Road blocks and challenges. I don't know if or when anything really changed between that perspective and a new one. It all seemed to come tumbling down around me of late.
Once I centered myself -which took days, it seems- things all came together. I was done with the pity party, feelings of worthlessness and unimportance, and frustrations.
Those mentalities are just lies. Straight from the mouth of the king of lies. Our Lord is so much bigger than our adversary. And we can't ever forget it.
But there is a line from a Mike Doughty song. "Let me know your enormity and my tininess. Help me see your infinity and my finiteness." God is infinite. He is bigger than anything. And he sees me through these challenges. And He sends me angels -my guardian angel, the amazing women in my life that are truly angels to me...He gives us the body of Christ.
It doesn't make it easy. Actually, sometimes things do genuinely suck. And they are hard. And we get lost in it. But we are totally equipped to get through, and when we keep the faith, and we hold onto hope, we make it. Against all odds, we survive.
No matter what challenges may come, no matter how out of control the world around us is...we are given all the tools we need to persevere. Just look to the cross.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Tweet tweet!
I've had some grimmer thoughts lately. Lent is an amazing time for penance, a time for repairing and strengthening our relationship with Christ. Maybe it's the act of reconciliation that's got me on this line of thought. Especially during this liturgical season, we recognize our sinfulness. We try to make reparation to the beautiful heart of Our Lady that is pierced by the sins we commit against her Son. Our God longs for us to make our way back to Him -our Shepard waits, with his arms open wide.
It's somehow lead me to the topic of abortion. God knows us intimately in the womb, he formed us all individually in His image and with all the love he has within Him. Let's refer to Psalm 139:
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
After spending some time really reflecting on the tragedy of abortion, I feel like it must just break Our Lady's heart -the mother of all people- to see the slaughter of her little ones. Our God must constantly ache over the disregard we have for the gift of life, and our failure to protect the most defenseless and innocent among us.
I don't have much more to say about abortion in general in this post, but today i was reminded of AN interview by Bryan Kemper of the pro-life ministry Stan True. It was with Angie the Anti-theist. If you don't know about her, She tweeted her abortion.
You can read the interview here:
http://bryankemper.com/2010/02/24/my-interview-with-angie-the-girl-who-live-tweeted-her-abortion
For whatever reason that interview came to mind while looking at Little-Disciples.com (super cute christian baby clothes). To look at these adorable onesies, the cute and punny sayings, and think about what a blessing babies are. But to remember that so many of those bundles of joy don't even survive to the world God made them for.
So Angie states that her goal in doing this was to"demystify" abortion or "reduce stigma." To explain what's going on, I guess. Maybe to make it less taboo? But so taking her train of thought, a light went on in my head.
This was just an idea, here -what if one of us Catholics "live tweeted" our confession?
I mean, I'm not volunteering to do it. I don't know if that takes away from the nature of the sacrament in anyway. I'm pretty sure the priest wouldn't care for you typing away on your iphone as you give your act of contrition, but it was just food for thought. I just thought it would be a pretty stark contrast -the "stigma" of an abortion vs the "stigma" and mystery (and grace!!!) and Sacrament of Reconciliation being brought live to the world to see.
**Just a note to readers, please don't tweet and receive sacraments. Probably a very bad idea.**
I guess that's one thing I personally have to pray more about. The end to abortion. And I would encourage you all to get involved too. Here's a list of some web sites to visit:
www.Rockforlife.org
www.Standtrue.org
www.AbortionNO.org
Financial contribute if you can, spiritually support the movement with prayer, or think about representing the cause with an awesome t-shirt (everyone loves awesome t-shirts right!?).
You can read a lot more from Bryan Kemper's awesome blog at www.Bryankemper.com.
Ok, hopefully we are all equipped to go out and fight the good fight! Remember what Mother Theresa said,"I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child, a direct killing of the innocent child, murder by the mother herself."
And for all you sister suffragettes, Susan B Anthony (one of the 1st feminists ladies!) once stated, ""Guilty? Yes. No matter what the motive, love of ease, or a desire to save from suffering the unborn innocent, the woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed. It will burden her conscience in life, it will burden her soul in death; But oh, thrice guilty is he who drove her to the desperation which impelled her to the crime!"
**** This blog does NOT recommend tweeting while receiving any of the sacraments.
It's somehow lead me to the topic of abortion. God knows us intimately in the womb, he formed us all individually in His image and with all the love he has within Him. Let's refer to Psalm 139:
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
After spending some time really reflecting on the tragedy of abortion, I feel like it must just break Our Lady's heart -the mother of all people- to see the slaughter of her little ones. Our God must constantly ache over the disregard we have for the gift of life, and our failure to protect the most defenseless and innocent among us.
I don't have much more to say about abortion in general in this post, but today i was reminded of AN interview by Bryan Kemper of the pro-life ministry Stan True. It was with Angie the Anti-theist. If you don't know about her, She tweeted her abortion.
You can read the interview here:
http://bryankemper.com/2010/02/24/my-interview-with-angie-the-girl-who-live-tweeted-her-abortion
For whatever reason that interview came to mind while looking at Little-Disciples.com (super cute christian baby clothes). To look at these adorable onesies, the cute and punny sayings, and think about what a blessing babies are. But to remember that so many of those bundles of joy don't even survive to the world God made them for.
So Angie states that her goal in doing this was to"demystify" abortion or "reduce stigma." To explain what's going on, I guess. Maybe to make it less taboo? But so taking her train of thought, a light went on in my head.
This was just an idea, here -what if one of us Catholics "live tweeted" our confession?
I mean, I'm not volunteering to do it. I don't know if that takes away from the nature of the sacrament in anyway. I'm pretty sure the priest wouldn't care for you typing away on your iphone as you give your act of contrition, but it was just food for thought. I just thought it would be a pretty stark contrast -the "stigma" of an abortion vs the "stigma" and mystery (and grace!!!) and Sacrament of Reconciliation being brought live to the world to see.
**Just a note to readers, please don't tweet and receive sacraments. Probably a very bad idea.**
I guess that's one thing I personally have to pray more about. The end to abortion. And I would encourage you all to get involved too. Here's a list of some web sites to visit:
www.Rockforlife.org
www.Standtrue.org
www.AbortionNO.org
Financial contribute if you can, spiritually support the movement with prayer, or think about representing the cause with an awesome t-shirt (everyone loves awesome t-shirts right!?).
You can read a lot more from Bryan Kemper's awesome blog at www.Bryankemper.com.
Ok, hopefully we are all equipped to go out and fight the good fight! Remember what Mother Theresa said,"I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child, a direct killing of the innocent child, murder by the mother herself."
And for all you sister suffragettes, Susan B Anthony (one of the 1st feminists ladies!) once stated, ""Guilty? Yes. No matter what the motive, love of ease, or a desire to save from suffering the unborn innocent, the woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed. It will burden her conscience in life, it will burden her soul in death; But oh, thrice guilty is he who drove her to the desperation which impelled her to the crime!"
**** This blog does NOT recommend tweeting while receiving any of the sacraments.
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